My AZZ Can't Swim!

Okay...took the family to Red Oaks Water Park. I didn't want to go...I am not a huge fan of water parks. Why? basically because I can't swim. So I am forced to buy a bathing suit...yep forced! We go...the 3 year old can't swim and isn't that fond of water above her ankles...so the two of us chill on the lounger while my 12 year old and husband have at the water. Eventually the oldest talked me into going into the lazy river. We all rode. I was in the 2 tube with my oldest and my husband was in one with the 3 year old. Imagine my little ones surprise when she realized that water may get dumped on her head. She was not happy...as a matter of fact she was yelling..."Mommy help...Mommy help. I had to acknowledge her so that they wouldn't arrest my husband. Once we are finished with that the (evil) 12 year old talks me into going into the "wave" pool. I squeeze myself into a tube and say lets go. We get into the pool(goes from 1" to 8') and she tells me to hold on to her tube. She's swimming and I'm just being drug along...all of a sudden I realize she is taking me to the deep side. (I am only 5'3"). I am saying...STOP...don't go any farther. She doesn't stop...so I get ready to let go and I realize that my feet can't touch the bottom. So...I do not immediately panic...the (evil) 12 year old then shakes me loose but I have managed to pull her back to 5' of water...so I am feeling pretty comfortable now. The bell rings for the waves to start and I begin to get a little nervous. The waves come and at first I am fine...until I realize that I am being pushed into the middle of the pool and into 8' of water. The waves are getting harder now and I can't find the evil 12 year old. I am starting to panic and get tired. I am leaning forward onto the tube and holding on to the sides. I feel like I am going to tip over and drown. I am starting to panic...then I see my husband...I wave and I get his attention. He waves back...I mouth "no" don't wave...the water is too deep. He nods, waves again and moths back" I know"...sits down and continues to read his newspaper! I decide at that moment that him and the evil 12 year old have joined forces to kill me and collect my insurance money. I start violently kicking my legs trying to get the tube to move in a different direction...however I am not going the way I want to. After 20 minutes at the deep end,kicking and panicking...the waves finally stop and I am able to get to the side...throw off the tube and get out of the pool...at which time I inform everyone that it is time to go home! Why...because my azz can't swim. The tip...don't let your evil 12 year old talk you in to going into the water with her....she will try to KILL you.